In his research, which began in 1972, Dr. John Gottman identified attributes that “masters of relationships” do naturally—as well as the attributes that “disasters of relationships” do naturally.
Below are a few facts that the Gottmans have discovered in their research.
Every relationship has the potential to be heaven or hell.
It depends 100% on “repair attempts.”
The most serious problem in relationships: “People don’t feel accepted for who they are.”
The goal of therapy is not to avoid fights nor to avoid hurting each other’s feelings BUT to process inevitable fights, miscommunication, and hurt feelings in order to repair the relationship.
The 2 most common couples problems
- Emotional distance
- Disengagement
How do you figure out whether you and your partner would benefit from couples therapy? Chicago Gottman couples therapist Terri Ammirati explains the answers to this issue in her lovely blog “When Is It a Good Time to Seek Counseling,” which you can find here or on the blog tab on this website.